Men have an obsession with machines. If it’s meant to have a motor, someone is always out to make a more powerful one. Case in point, tractor pulling. You just know that two farmers got in a drunk pissing match after knock’n back some moonshine, and argued over who had the more powerful tractor. Next thing you know, you got a bunch of red-necks with methanol burning tractors, trying to see how far they can drag stuff. In 75 years they went from this:
To this:
The top-tier tractors now have jet engines. Some have seven, high performance V8 engines on the same tractor, putting out 5,000 horsepower. WTF!?! Honestly, tractor pulling seems retarded, but, I admit I would go to one if they were out my way.
Okay, so it’s clear that if it has a motor, it’s only a matter of time until it’s just blown out of proportion. Then there are the creative guys that find ways to motorize things that don’t even need motors. I give you the top 10 dumbest motorized things.
10. Tractor Pulling Tractors
9. The Motorized Toilet
Stupid, but you know it would be fun to take a dump while driving down the street. Perfect for transportation to and from Chili Cook-Offs.
8. Gizmo Duck
7. The Motorized Couch
As they say, necessity is the mother of invention…and lazy rednecks are good inventors. Too lazy to get off the couch. No problem. Take the couch with you. Notice the driving light in case you want to do some late night cruise’n, yee haw!
6. The Motorized Bar Stool
(Sigh). This is funny, but now they have official races and rules Check out http://www.barstoolracing.net, for Membership information for NO BRA (National Organization of Bar Stool Racing in America).
5. Motorized Roller Blades
Okay, look. If you’re too lazy to actually power your rollerblades yourself, fucking drive. Am I wrong? Don’t they have motorcycles and scooters and public transportation for this sort of thing?
4. The Motorized Ice Chest
Perfect for getting your fish from the boat to your truck, which is 40 feet away. Um, actually this is kind of cool. I saw one yesterday and really wanted one. I was drunk at the time.
3. The V8 BBQ
I’m really not sure why you’d need a Hemi for your BBQ. If you need to take your grill somewhere, I suggest towing it with your truck. And yes, you know that the guy who built this has a truck (probably with a gun rack and antlers on it).
2. V8 Powered Chainsaw
I have a great idea. You know that chainsaws injure like 40,000 people a year right? Lets have some Keystone and put a V8 engine on your chainsaw and cut some shit up. The thing is 500lbs and 300hp. The picture doesn’t do this justice. Here’s a video.
God damn this car is an ugly piece of shit.
