Sports Car Driven

Aztec is a term used to refer to certain ethnic groups of central Mexico, particularly those groups who spoke the Nahuatl language and who achieved political and military dominance over large parts of Mesoamerica.

The Pontiac Aztec if the ugliest god damn car I have ever known and a disgrace to those proud and powerful, spear-chucking Indians.

In theory, the car was kind of cool. However, “in theory” communism is a great idea.  The back of the car could hold two mountain bikes standing up and had a tent/inflatable mattress package that could turn the car into a camper. It also had a pull out cooler and special racks for snowboards and stuff. But what mother could love a face like that?

The thing is a beast. It looks like a moose humped an alligator and then pooped on it. Then the designers put some cladding on the side to tidy things up. It doesn’t matter what the car does, it has to be something at least kind of appealing.  Sadly, a blue Aztek served as the pace car for the Daytona 500 and the “car” won the title of Most Appealing Entry Sport Utility Vehicle in 2001 from J.D. Power and Associates. Just wow. Most appealing as in I just ate mold and the toilet sounds appealing right now?

Ultimately this car became a symbol for the downfall of design by committee.  Pontiac predicted selling 75,000 and needed to sell 30,000 a year to break even.  Let’s just say they lost a lot of money on the project.

Now, ironically, if the Aztec was a hybrid, it’s styling wouldn’t be a problem. It would fit right in with the Prius.

 Somehow pimping out an Aztek actually makes an improvement….I think.

In the end, the Aztek was good on paper, but the f*ing ugliest car made in the last 25 years and possibly ever. We should  sell them to the French.