Every tribe has their own rules to playing the game “Shotgun,” which is the art and competition of proclaiming your right to the front passenger seat of a vehicle, when competition for said seat exists.
While going to school in Arizona I was constantly screwed by one guy that would call shotgun as soon as a trip in the car was initiated. I’m not going to name names since this is a public forum, but Kevin was a dick. I was raised to play with class and didn’t shout “Shotgun” until I was outside. This dude would shout it out while sitting on the couch with his bong in hand 5 minutes before anyone had their car keys out. I got burned more times than I can count. For modern day combatants, I have found the solution.
I was going to write my own definitive rules to the game when I stumbled across this gem: www.shotgunrules.com. This jewel of modern prose outlines the rules of the game in fine detail and even elaborates on several concepts I hadn’t even considered. For example:
The Line-Of-Sight Rule
In the situation of the deed being a hike or other extensive outdoor activity, you may not call Shotgun until the automobile is within your sight. This rule needs only to be used when the passengers are outside for a long time and have traveled long distances from the car, as with a day of snow skiing.
The Shotgun Gaper
Gapers (gay-pers) are people who prioritize Shotgun much more than a normal human being. These people will alter their usual behavior and even undermine their own ethics in order to gain the rights to Shotgun. They do this through legal means such as sprinting for an exit, and therefore they cannot be voided. The term gaper was originally given to Will Henderson who once rode Shotgun for 2 months straight. The advantage to being a Shotgun Gaper, of course, is you always get Shotgun. Being a Shotgun Gaper, however, is frowned upon.
If you know any Gapers and disapprove of their gaping ways, visit our Gaper page. There you will find tips and tactics to help you beat the Gaper at their own game.
Check out this site for a good laugh and piece of mind next time you’re enjoying your Spicy Chicken sandwich and Frosty.
