Pics hotlinked from uncrate.com and jalopnik.com.

Hey Jon;

Remember that post you made about being a broke-ass? I have a solution for you son.

Keep reading.

I never thought I’d be writing a “dear Jon” letter, by the way, yet here I am. Anyway, here we go:

Dear Jon:

Sell the Porsche dude. It’s a fantastic car that get’s me excited in the right way in all the wrong places, but if money’s tight it’s probably not a great idea to be rolling around in a Pseudo-exotic. But, I have a great solution for you! You wanted something that had practicality, right, something that you could use everyday, didn’t cost as much as a Porsche, and still had a bit of sporting to it, right? Okay, so I added that last part in, but how can you go from a Porsche to a Jeep?

Are you out of your freaking mind?

Anyway, I’ve got a solution. It came to me one day when I was checking out Aussie land for diggery-doo’s and Kangaroo paddies, and believe me, it was a welcome relief from the activities of the day. It’s called a “Ute”, and it’s the sexiest damn thing to come from Australia. Well, actually, it came from North America in the 70s, and then it was ditched and the Aussie’s took over and made it big.

<— Is that not the sexiest “truck” ever made in North America? I mean, look at it. It just screams I AM A CHAMPION. Not only that, but a 6.0L V8 and 361 horsepower makes it a serious contender, doesn’t it?

Why drive around in a crusty old Jeep or a Honda-fucking-Accord when you can roll in the embodiment and manli-badassness? The vehicle that I’ve unveiled is the Pontiac G8 Sport Truck, due for release in 2010, and I’m sure it will be a huge sales success.

Does it remind you of the El Camino or the Ranchero? F*ck yea it should, because it’s basically a modern interpretation of an old classic.

More Information About the Pontiac G8 Sport Truck

From the A-pillars onward, the G8 sport truck is identical to the Pontiac G8 sedan.  In my opinion, that’s a great thing.  Even the interior is the same, minus the rear seats of course, meaning that you get a truck with all the comfort of a car.  While the G8 Sport Truck will likely not have a huge cargo capacity or towing capability, it’s bed and suspension will allow it to carry decent sized loads, and for the average person, it is more than capable.

Unless you’re constantly carting around thousands of pounds worth of crap, the G8 Sport Truck is the perfect solution for people who want the capability of a truck but don’t want to deal with the piss-poor gas mileage or pain-in-the-ass parking/driving qualities.

Rumour has it that it will have sports-car like suspension, slightly tuned up a bit in the rear to handle a payload, and will (of course) be rear wheel drive.  Coupled to great transmission and capable chassis, the G8 Sport Truck is going to kick ass and ignite people’s passion.

And tires.  Pontiac is saying a 0 to 60 time of 5.4 seconds, and that’s with a 6 foot cargo bed.

Awesome.

So there you have it Jon, the perfect solution.  Don’t let me down man!