Sports Car Driven

I love Car & Driver.

I’ve had a subscription since I was 9. No Joke! I’m not even getting paid to write this.

I had Road & Track and Motor Trend subscriptions for a while, but I just never had the time to read them all, so I stuck with CD.

I think other magazines often pick sexier or flashier topics, but the CD material is more reliable and substantial. Basically, I trust them more than the others. No, I don’t care about reading up on a subcompact show down, but the Editorials are good, the content is good, the numbers hold up and the evaluations are consistent.

I know that they’re pushing their website and posting increasing content on it, but the magazines still serves a purpose.

It’s just fun seeing it come in the mail. I flip through the thing whole as soon as I get it, before I even take a leak.

It’s a good feeling to have something to look forward to.

I think this may be the most gay article I’ve written on here to date, but who’s gonna stop me?

So, thank you Car & Driver for giving me something to look forward to and for making my bowel movements more enjoyable for the past 223 months.

Love,

Jon

P.S. What car magazine do you read?

The Alfa Romero 8C Competizione

This GT sports car is due to hit the U.S. next year, although it’s already being delivered to European customers. Unfortunately only 90 will be sent to the U.S. in ‘08. Too bad.

Despite the low number coming to the states, there’s good chance I’ll see one in Southern California. I really can’t remember seeing such a beautiful sports car. It’s like combing and Panoz with a hot Italian model.

+ =

People who’ve seen the car in person have called in metallic sex. Hopefully I’ll be able to think of something as clever when I see it for the first time.

No gear shift, no handbrake, no ignition -All electronic

Modified parts from Maserati

Components from Ferrari

Design by Alfa.

450 hp

0-60 in 4.2 seconds

60-0 in 105 feet!

The car can pull 1.02g on the skidpad!

I can’t wait!

I’ve heard that if you’re a true sports car fanatic, the test is how many Alfas you’ve owned. Unfortunately, Alfa’s aren’t too popular in the U.S. yet. I hope that changes with the 8c.

Oh. P.S. There’s a convertible on the way

I’ve been going to the Long Beach Grand Prix regularly for at least 10 years now. I love open wheel racing, and pretty much any sports car or automobile racing where there’s more than an oval involved.  As much as I love sports car racing, I’m not that fired up about going to the Long Beach Grand Prix again. 

The sounds of 800 turbocharged horsepower  and the sickly sweet smell of burnt rubber,  methanol, and warm churros are always worth my admission…but there’s no racing.

In 2007 17 cars started from just 9 teams (some teams have more than one car). 3 different drivers led laps. 14 finished.

So, 17 cars on a two mile track.   

I dunno, maybe I had a bad time ‘cause we didn’t have a jumbo TV screen where we were at or because we had crappy seats this year (grandstand 21), but the real reason is that there were only 17 drivers and I only recognized half of them.  The series even switched from a lap limit to a timed limit, probably because they’re having a hard time getting media air time.

That’s pretty sad to have one of the most popular events in the series field only 17 drivers.  200,000 people attended over the weekend and 100,000 attending the main event, but I had more fun watching the drifting competition at the end of the race.

I do have to mention the Tecate Girls. Holly C$R%p!  

I’ve never seen pants so tight in my life. It’s almost worth the $9, 12 oz. beer just to have them there. If anything is keeping CHAMP car alive, it’s the Tecate Girls.

The separation between the IRL series and CHAMP car series is going to kill them both. IRL is doing better because they’ve retained more marketable personalities, tapped into the NASCAR audience, and race with cheaper vehicles, but I don’t think either will survive to 2009 unless they merge back together.

So sad.

I say to survive, CHAMP and IRL need to compromise. Get back together. Have cheaper cars and race on a mixture of tracks. They better do something or they’ll be dead before the end of the decade and another sports car series will bite the dust.

Long Beach Grand Prix

I had never been to a real drag race until November of this year. I’d been to local drag races in Oregon with my brother and that was a lot of fun, but nothing like the NHRA. In some ways local racing is better because it’s real. Real people drive up in sports cars and crappy cars that they’ve personally worked on. One of the fastest guys was in a mid-60’s Ford truck with a chain holding the hood down. Imagine seeing that truck beat a Viper and you get an idea of what it’s like. The drivers show up because it’s good fun and fun to go fast.

Then there’s the NHRA.

The race was the Winter Nationals in Pomona, CA. We parked about half a mile away and could hear the thunder as soon as we stepped out of the car. As we walked closer it continued to get louder. It’s hard to describe. I’ve been sitting here for 5 minutes trying to think of how to put it in words.

The closest I can come is try to imagine drinking from a fire hose, and then try to think what that would be like for your ears. It is LOUD! It’s the kind of loud that you feel in your chest and ruffles your shirt from 100 feet away.

War Veterans have described the noise and feeling like being on a battle field with explosions all around you. I’ll take their word for it.

I don’t know if it’s a guy thing or what, but it’s just fun watching loud things go fast. Like 300+ mph fast.

Drag racing has been around since the day after the first car was made. Since then people have aspired to have a car faster than someone else’s. You don’t even need a sports car. You know you’ve floored if off the line in minivan, either to beat someone to an on-ramp or just for fun.

The NHRA race was a blast and if you haven’t been to one, you need to go. You don’t need to be a car fan. If you watch football, own a power drill or have ever cracked a smile from driving fast, you need to go, women included.

Bring ear plugs or $2 to buy them there.

There are cars that enhance a driver’s physical appeal and attract women like bees to honey. For every action, there must be an opposite and equal reaction and the automobile universe is no different. If you are a single man, or single homosexual female, these are the vehicles you want to avoid.

10. Smart Car

Okay, maybe in other crowded countries this is cool, but dude, come on! I’d like to see someone roll up in Southern California and actually get someone of the opposite sex (or same if lesbian)in the car. 

9. A Volvo, any year

Good for safety means bad for cool. The newer ones are looking better, but still you’re not gonna fool anyone. The older the Volvo, the less likely your chances are. Each year in Volvo age reduces your chances exponentially.

8. A Toyota Scion

It’s like kryptonite man. It looks cool. I like it. I’d date someone with a Scion, but no one else will. It’s crazy. Name someone that has a Scion tc that can pull chicks.

7. 1991 Mitsubishi Mirage

I had one nicked-named the Silver Bullet. It was a hand-me-down. Cigarette burns in the back seat from the previous owner. No clear coat left. It would slip out of gear on the freeway. The radio only worked if you hit it. I’m sure there will be an article on it at a later date.  I saw one of these pimped out once with gold wheels and a gold luggage rack. It was like whipped cream on dog crap.  It looked pretty, but it was still crap. There were also no ladies in the car, just to back up my list.

6. Chevy Caprice

Unless you’re picking up a mermaid, this whale aint’ get’n any tale.

5. Mazda Miata

Gay, even if you’re gay yourself. It may be a great car and a sports car icon, but it has become the American symbol for a wuss car and the butt of many Adam Corolla jokes.  I think they’d actually sell more if a rainbow scheme was an optional color.

4. Geo Metro

If you can explain to someone why this car has a 3 cylinder engine, you may have a shot at pulling this off.  By the way, this car almost works because in silver it almost looks like a vibrating egg vibrator, which I’ve been told women are particularly fond of; however, it’s still a Geo and when women see the badge on the back, that tingly feeling in their knees goes to their stomach and they get nauseous.

3. Taurus Station Wagon

Laaaaaaaaaaammmeee!

2. Used Cop Car

A perfect car for a teenager, yes. Virtually indestructible, yes. Cool factor to anyone but your friends ZERO. It’s gonna smell like a kennel and have plastic upholstery and a quarter-million miles on it. Good luck.

1. Public Bus

Despite the shortcomings of all the cars on this list, they’re all better than the bus. It cracks me up to think about going to a bar and then trying to get a girl back to your place…on the bus. Maybe it’s a California thing, but it’s not. If it’s all ya got, then go for it, but you might as well part the ocean while you’re at it.

Best of luck to everyone!

I always thought that the Porsche logo was just the Porsche Family crest. I learned the truth a little while ago and found it again at http://sqa.pca.org/crest.htm I thought it was worth sharing.

Origin of the Porsche Crest

by Terry Lovett, Porsche Club of Canberra, Australia

THE CREST: In 1951 Porsche was finalizing plans for its move from the war time sanctuary of Gmund back to Stuttgart. Importers and agents selling his product made it clear that customers wanted some sort of trademark or badge to identify their vehicles, which till then, only carried the word “Porsche” on the body work. In 1952, Professor Porsche had devised the basic design of the crest. Folklore has it that he sketched it on a serviette during a luncheon. Whether true or not, it was Messrs. Lepper and Riemspiess of the publicity and design studios who carefully finalized the design.

There are three components: the family name, of course, is positioned at the top, while the other two components reflect Porsche’s gratitude for the rebirth of the company in the Stuttgart area. The red and black bars with the antlers are from the coat of arms of the State of Wurttemberg, and the horse is from the coat of arms of Stuttgart, capital of Wurttemberg. The origins of Stuttgart developed from the royal patronage given in historical times to the area. A fine horse stud developed here. So (Stud Garden) Stutt Garten and Stuttgart.

The crest first appeared on a Porsche in 1953, but was limited to the interior of the car – the horn button. It was not till 1957 that the crest joined the work Porsche on the front bonnet of a 356 Coupe.

THE COLOR: Maroon or claret has appeared on the driver’s hand-books, service manuals and official letterheads since 1951. The choice of color was due to necessity rather than any romantic design consideration. After the second World War, colored inks were in very short supply and colored papers were only just being reintroduced. It was in this environment that the first handbooks were produced. To maintain an attractive design within the shortages of the period, black ink and colored stock was chosen. The small printer Glauner happened to have some colored paper – maroon. It was a case of no alternatives. No one could imagine the precedent that this would set. Today, all official stationery, driver’s wallets and even the exterior color schemes of the new factory building in Stuttgart utilize bold stripes of these colors.

THE SCRIPT: The Porsche script has undergone a number of evolutionary phases since it appeared on Porsche No. 1 at Gmund in June 1948.

From the outset, the square shape of the letters was apparent. Initially, letters were placed individually in a curved pattern o the front of the cars. In 1950, a horizontal underlining bar joined all the letters into a single unit. In 1952, the letters became more squat (extended). This design remained unchanged for the remaining life of the 356 series. In 1963-64, the 911 came on the scene. The word Porsche reverted to a series of individual letters of a thinner and more open shape. In 1974, the metal letters were no longer used. Instead they were depicted on the reflective panel separating the tail lights of the 911. To end, I quote Tony Lapine, head of styling studio: “More than any emblem or logo, Professor Porsche himself represents the bond between tradition and progressive technology that makes Porsche such a unique company.”

Origin Of The Porsche Crest
Copyright © 2007 Sequoia Region, Porsche Club of America.
Porsche®, Carrera®, Targa®, Tiptronic-S®, Boxster® and the
Porsche Crest are registered trademarks of Dr. Ing. h. c. F. Porsche AG.