It was a warm October day in 2005. The sun was out, the air was dry, and the hangover of last night’s malt liquor and Goldshlagger was wearing off.
A month earlier we had set in motion plans that would not only change the lives of those involved, but the millions and billions that would later view footage across the internet.
We had embarked on Operation Sheep Dog.
Our friend Pete had an old beat up Nissan Sentra and a new Toyota Corolla. We valued the Nissan around $600 to $900, in part due to brake problems, electrical problems and odor problems. Using the help of a lady (another reason not to trust them), we stole Pete’s Nissan.
Early in the morning we broke into two teams to procure supplies.
| Team Alpha (Hardware Store):
Glue A Saw Sheet Metal Rivets Paint Scissors |
Team Zappa (JoAnne’s Fabric Store):
Material for all fur Material for nose Material for tongue Material for testicles |
Team Alpha apparently made a stop at Subway:
The clean, confiscated car showed up around noon, ready for surgery:
Using 12 tubes of liquid nails we glued the material to the car, shaping it like a fine fur coat. Several slackers watched.
The floppy ears were riveted through the roof several times and would seductively flap at freeway speeds.
The nose was half of a foam pumpkin glued to the front and painted black.
The anus was designed with pride and styled to look like a balloon’s twisty tie
The rearward visibility - Gone, like the resemblance to a Nissan Sentra
The tail laid limp at a stop but flapped happily when driving.
The testicles: Genius!
The first test drive: Slow at first because I didn’t know if anything would fly off since the glue wasn’t dry.
The owner’s reaction: Priceless
Pete told stories later that little kids would come up to him in parking lots and ask if they could pet his car.
Legend has it he picked up 7 sexy women on the way to the grocery store, just because the car was so pimp.
Like the Apollo project, or the completion of the Panama Canal, this day, which I don’t remember the exact date of, will live forever as a mystical fantasy, re-told countless times through countless generations as the day we turned our friend Pete’s car into a Sheep Dog.
Happy Birthday Pete!
